Sunday, March 28, 2010

Adult Spirituality Group notes (3/28/10)

All ten adult attendees rejoiced in the chapter, "Being a Grownup", since it felt personally relevant. Pastor Dan crowed, "A brilliant chapter!" (Soon afterward, the momentary gleam of sunlight that we all took notice of, faded into Seattle overcast....)

We bubbled over the insightful quote, "The capacity to know and affirm and live from the conviction that "it's not about you" is a crucial marker of grown-up-ness." (p. 104) Babies learn to cry and coo and sign language to get mom and dad to eventually figure out their needs. When we attain adulthood, we learn the communication tools to get attention, services, and things, much more effectively. Not only do we learn to specifically articulate our desires, but also gain a complex sophisticated understanding of what we really want.
--For example, Day's father Ajit has learned the complicated skill of communicating in a way that doesn't skip past social graces. Ajit has learned to take time & space for personal development, e.g., meditation, to center himself for his divergent interactions. By opening up to our common spiritual core, he is better able to relate about difficult topics via our commonness. "The art of being able to say something unpopular lies in doing it in such a way that those to whom you are saying it know that you still care about them and that you are in it with them." (p. 106)

Many men are socialized to get angry as a way to express their emotions. Many women are instead socialized to cry. How to manage in balance so that we can both articulate the nuances of our mature perspectives as well as communicate our personal relationship to the perspective? Day feels that Pastor Dan like his father has predominately learned to manage his emotions, e.g., expressions of tears and anger during his sermons in a effective way to impart his message.

Next week, we'll discuss:
1. "The Prayer My Father Taught Me (p. 108)
2. "Friendship" (p. 112)
3. Marriage: What's the Point? (p. 119)

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