Adult Spirituality Group Notes (5/26/10)

** We first discussed the chapter, "In a Time of War" (starting on p. 195) **

For churches to develop an activist voice on larger social issues such as war, we must kindle a debate within, similar to our Adult Spirituality Group intellectual exchange. (As Pastor Dan mentioned, the church is designed to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comforted.)
-For example, during the height of tensions during the Korean War, an American flag stood side by side to a Christian flag behind the pastor as he gave sermons in our church, from 1955-57.

The group discussed how we have a different situation today. Terrorism isn't from a clear enemy target that one can polarize towards to burgeon a large scale response, such as Americans could against the Nazis in Germany during World War II. Defeating a terrorist "enemy" seems to require a much more subtle nation building response nowadays. (This involves social, military, and education problems).


** We secondly discussed the chapter, "The Gay Divide" (starting on p. 201) **

In the early 600 BC Jewish church, homosexuality, circumcision, and temple cult like sexual rituals) were outlawed by higher priests to make the Jewish church distinctive from other groups. The Christian New Testament has changed the focus from simple external activities to the more subtle heart and mind, as evidenced through one's immediate relationships, which were at the roots of external activities.

In modern society, there is vastly less moral stigma around being gay, celibate, or child free. Bob Squalia sees both liberals and conservatives having different perspectives, but as one gets older one sees those identities as boxes that don't encompass one's true broader living perspective.


Chapters to discuss next week:
1. "Technology & Human Values", p. 207
2. "Holy Stories", p. 213

religious leaders as connectors and community builders

Our discussion of the next 2 essays in the book (Notes on a Field-based Scholar and Community) focused on the sense of community in our church. We celebrated our diversity of ages and roles and observed how the smaller size of our congregation leads to more mixing of groups that might not mix in a large congregation. We nurture relationships by working together to keep our small church vibrant through spiritual, social, musical, and even maintenance activities. And our efforts are wonderfully tended by Dan, our pastor, who has such a talent for unearthing our hidden gifts and encouraging us to test them in new ways.

Next week: Problems with Pluralism and Grievance Gluttony... (From Common Grace by Anthony Robinson)

Adult Spirituality Group notes, 4/18/2010

We discussed two chapters -
"WHAT ARE FATHERS FOR" (p. 140 - 144)

To answer the above chapter title, Francis' husband noted that the fundamental biological difference between the male and female gender (egg vs. sperm) is only to first create a baby. More is required to assist the mother in raising a child to adulthood with the skills and qualities to be able to pass on his genes over time. The below quote from page 143 was mentioned:
"The mother's blessing seems to have been imparted long ago, at the womb, and requires no conferral. Yes, clearly there are many exceptions to this as a pattern, but the pattern itself stands. In this sense, it is the father's love that is more of the growth-prodding and demanding, while a mother's is more of the accepting and letting be."

The group reflected upon the author's use of the 'fatherhood' gender to describe the set of traits discussed in this chapter, which seem to fit old gender stereotypes and was not really correct. For example in Day's family, often Mom was the "whip" to instill my tiger-like discipline and character to claw and pounce on also things I don't have a conscious attraction towards. Dad more often nurtured my inner development through meditation and math.

"DEATH DIMINISHED" (p. 145)
Francis brightly summarized that everyone grieves death in their own way. Some benefit more than others from a formal grieving process, like attending funerals. Public memorials are very important for people outside of the family, e.g., co-workers, to get closure that a person is truly dead. Day made note that his aunt in India had such a long and unending period of formal expected grief for her son's death, that she later laughed that she was still alive and it was morbid to grieve too much or for too long.

For next week (4/25), please read the chapters:
• "Notes of a Field-Based Scholar: A View of Ministry, p. 154
• "Community", p. 159

Adult Spirituality Group notes (3/28/10)

All ten adult attendees rejoiced in the chapter, "Being a Grownup", since it felt personally relevant. Pastor Dan crowed, "A brilliant chapter!" (Soon afterward, the momentary gleam of sunlight that we all took notice of, faded into Seattle overcast....)

We bubbled over the insightful quote, "The capacity to know and affirm and live from the conviction that "it's not about you" is a crucial marker of grown-up-ness." (p. 104) Babies learn to cry and coo and sign language to get mom and dad to eventually figure out their needs. When we attain adulthood, we learn the communication tools to get attention, services, and things, much more effectively. Not only do we learn to specifically articulate our desires, but also gain a complex sophisticated understanding of what we really want.
--For example, Day's father Ajit has learned the complicated skill of communicating in a way that doesn't skip past social graces. Ajit has learned to take time & space for personal development, e.g., meditation, to center himself for his divergent interactions. By opening up to our common spiritual core, he is better able to relate about difficult topics via our commonness. "The art of being able to say something unpopular lies in doing it in such a way that those to whom you are saying it know that you still care about them and that you are in it with them." (p. 106)

Many men are socialized to get angry as a way to express their emotions. Many women are instead socialized to cry. How to manage in balance so that we can both articulate the nuances of our mature perspectives as well as communicate our personal relationship to the perspective? Day feels that Pastor Dan like his father has predominately learned to manage his emotions, e.g., expressions of tears and anger during his sermons in a effective way to impart his message.

Next week, we'll discuss:
1. "The Prayer My Father Taught Me (p. 108)
2. "Friendship" (p. 112)
3. Marriage: What's the Point? (p. 119)

BCUCC Adult Spirituality Group Notes: (3/21/10)

We all had insights about the Common Grace “Hyperparenting” chapter, especially Francis:

1. “There has got to be a balance – All things in moderation, including moderation. The rule is simplicity in life.” – Georg Myers
2. Parents foster their children’s development through “accepting love” and “transforming love”. (bottom of p. 98)
3. Parents should determine what their goals are so that they don’t merely react to divergent opportunities for their children.
4. Kids often have too much structured time. Instead they need down time to construct on their own and be creative. This doesn’t mean passively veg in front of the TV but, e.g., have a quiet walk in nature (to explore the subtle complex ecosystem and sort out and distill their minds).
5. There’s a Slow Parenting movement. The philosophy is basically that “maximizing” a child’s structured exposure to new learning and resources is not helpful. It’s as important for the family to spend time together to bond, e.g., to sit down for a meal. It’s important to give time to foster the parents’ relationship. Check out - http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/08/what-is-slow-parenting/
6. Finland has a great education model. Until children reach age 7, the emphasis is on social relationships and exercise, not on school learning. Early on, Finland students are dead last, but later are at the top! (Day’s sister will base her children’s development on the Waldorf Answers at http://www.waldorfanswers.com/, which has a similar approach.)
7. A way for working parents in the U.S. to maintain influence in their children’s development is to send children to YMCA and neighborhood centers, as well as post reminders and inspirational note cards around the house.

* Next Sunday, we'll discuss these chapters:
1. Being a Grown Up, p. 102
2. The Prayer My Father Taught Me, p. 108
3. Friendship, p. 112

Tony Robinson Visits!

How many book groups get to meet with the author?! We did last Sunday, 2/28. All agreed it really enriched our already rich experience reading his book, Common Grace. We also agreed the time went way too fast and we had more questions for Tony. Some of the questions/comments topics we discussed with him included the effective way he relates parables to current life issues. Several of us have found ourselves quoting from his book during our everyday lives. I actually posted his comment about parenting being a sacrificial act on my Facebook page - it felt real to me at this stage of my life! I invite others from the group to comment on their thoughts from the meeting. I also invite others to pose questions and we can try to forward them to Tony for more input since the time went so fast.

Sunday Adult Spirituality Group Notes-January 31, 2010

1/31/2010 - Notes by Jane Witmer

We discussed two chapters – Revelation and Dreams in the current book Common Grace by Anthony B. Robinson.  Also, one should note that this author is scheduled to join our group in person on Sunday, February 28.

Conversation centered on the author’s discussion about choice.  He asserts that we do not have choice over what comes our way.  Tom Ward expressed concern about those who feel life’s events are preordained and when things go wrong, lose faith.  Several members commented that we may not have a choice about what events come at us in life, but we have a choice in how we respond or deal with those events.  The last two lines of the chapter supported our discussion and are as follows, “For the most part, we can’t control what life brings us.  It is, however, up to us how we respond to life.  Something is being asked of us.”  We also discussed the importance and the challenge of slowing down enough to allow ourselves to experience a revelation.  In other words, slow down and listen, because God is still speaking!

The chapter called Dreams helped us link subconscious awareness of God’s messages to conscious awareness in the form of a revelation.  We discussed whether or not people can control or direct their dreams and what impact that might have.  Frances G. talked about developing an awareness of the theme of your dreams.  Once again, ask yourself, “Is God speaking to me?”

Thea, Charles, and Dan talked about practicing “praying the scripture” as recommended in previous chapters.  Ask if you are curious about what that means!

The next session will focus on the next 3 chapters.